The Power of Relationships in Weight Loss

Are relationships an important part of your life? If so, then you probably give much importance to family and friends, the comfort of being with loved ones, the energy you get from being with others, the sense of community you feel with people you care about, and the gap that is left when you feel isolated from others (i.e. Covid).

If this is true for you, it might also impact your ability/inability to lose weight.

The Downside of Relationship Needs

While love and connection have many positives for your life, the area of weight loss and healthy eating may not be one of them. When with family and friends, people often eat way differently than when home in one’s usual routine. It’s a signal for party time – eating all the fun foods you have in common which easily put on the pounds. It is also often a signal for more than usual drinking.Why is this so? There are several reasons, and it can take a little time to unravel it all.

First, families have their special foods they share on holidays and special occasions. Not eating ‘what the tribe is eating’ can offend others, make you feel left out, and/or leave you feeling deprived. Plus, there might not be healthy food choices available in such situations, unless you bring your own. It’s easier to just share in the fun with what’s available – no questions asked, no funny looks, no one left feeling offended. Plus, you probably like eating those foods too because of all the happy memories they have. So you think, why not just indulge?

A similar situation can occur with immediate family, friend, co-workers. Without a previous plan, the group might spontaneously decide to go out for pizza (after you have committed to trying out a wheat and dairy free diet), have some drinks, go out for ice cream, or have a meal where the menu is mostly heavy meat dishes, fried foods, and heavy refined carbs. Then you find yourself stuck, with few options. But you don’t want to isolate yourself from the company, so you just make do.

Your spouse may enjoy snacking for a few hours after dinner, while watching TV. You want to feel at one with your loved one, and you do enjoy those snacks. So your resolve not to eat after dinner goes out the window. Or, your spouse buys you a box of candy on Valentine’s day, or brings home your favorite ice cream. Then it’s hard to say ‘no’.

All in all, the benefits of relationship ties end up trumping over your plan to eat well and take good care of yourself. If these events come up often, then it’s easy to keep gaining weight or at best maintain your weight. But for most, weight loss becomes difficult.

The Pros of Relationship Needs

On the other hand, there are times when relationships can work in your favor for slimming down, exercising regularly, and eating well. Here are some of them…

Exercise buddy: You and your friend, spouse, neighbor or someone else both commit to regular exercise. You walk or otherwise together at a certain time on certain days. Accountability is built into the equation because you don’t want to disappoint the other person by not showing up.

Daily Check-In: In this situation, you check in with the person you have partnered up with, and give a daily report on what you ate, and perhaps on your weight. Again, accountability is built into the situation and it’s easier to stay on track.

Family Resolve: Here your whole family (who lives under one roof) decides that it would be good to cook more, eat healthier foods, and slim down. Everyone contributes to the work that needs to be done for this to happen. The group morale becomes a huge plus for sticking to the plan, with each family member motivating the other.

Husband and Wife Team: Here both husband and wife decide they want to get healthier and slimmer, so they start a team approach. Each contributes what they can. If both people cook, they might alternate days that they are responsible for dinner. If only one cooks, then the other might become the prepper and dish washer to make a contribution. They might also decide to not keep foods in the house that they usually snack on, like ice cream, cookies, chocolate, chips. In addition, they may walk together or engage in other exercise together. Plus, they might remind each other of good food choices when they eat out or go on vacation.

How To Make This Concept Work for You

If relationships are important to you (and I hope they are), then the first step would be to see how these situations affect you. What are your downsides and pros in relationships? I’d suggest writing a list of each, and then formulating a plan. In the downside category, you might decide to bring your own food to family gatherings or make something healthy that everyone would still like. Or, have a talk with your spouse so they don’t bring foods into the house which are too tempting for you. Or, have a talk with your family so they choose a place to eat that also works for you.

Then decide how you can make relationships work in your favor. This might include setting up a buddy system with someone who has similar goals, asking you spouse to contribute more to cooking, or sharing in the food shopping with a pre-prepared list.

It’s best to start small – one intervention that can make a difference would be a good start. Then build on your first step until you have all the support and motivation you need to attain and maintain your goal weight.

Need help getting started? Schedule your free consultation.

Or, call Carol at 1-317-445-4203.